It has been a whirlwind. After many nights of nightmares, worries, and thoughts of every single thing that could go wrong. I had dreams that I tripped, dreams that my gown didn't fit, dreams that I ripped my gown while on stage, dreams that my name was mispronounced, dreams of every single thing that could go wrong. But none of them did. Despite all my worries Graduation was amazing.
I forgot my name card but they had extras, I couldn't figure out for the life of me how to actually wear this hood thing but they had people to help make sure it was correct, my friends from the program were there. Cups of ice water waiting for us as we lined up. All of us hugging each other and sharing stories of the last two years.
I walked into the large arena, thousands of people filling it, and some how, some way, my parents got seats two rows from the floor at the exact end of my aisle. I felt as though they were there with me. Every moment of so I would look over at them and they would glance back with their huge smiles. I couldn't have done this without them.
A few days earlier I was at my parents house. My mom was making some cookies for a end of the year party at my professors house that I was heading to the next day. I got upset that I wasn't the one making the cookies. I started crying and then had a full fledged breakdown in the middle of the kitchen. Crying, balling really, screaming, and collapsing onto the dining room table. It was, of course, not over the cookies but over everything else. Here I was days from graduating with my masters degree and it seemed as though no one cared. 3 people had RSVP'd for dinner out of the entire facebook that I had invited. No one seemed to be even a little impressed that I was graduating, all my friends seemed busy, all my family seemed as though they didn't even know. I was graduating with no job lined up, no plans lined up, no one to cuddle with and share this moment with.
My parents calmed me down some and a phone call to a friend helped calm me down more but the hurt and fear was still there. All that melted away as I walked out to the arena and saw my parents sitting there, so close to were I was sitting, with huge smiles across their faces. I sat there, surrounded by friends, my parents at the end of the row snapping photos.
After the ceremony my parents and I headed downtown to WildSide for my celebratory dinner. Soon family started showing up, friends arrived, even one of my professors came. All that hurt that I had was soon proven wrong. It was proven wrong as stories were being shared, photos taken, and joy filling the room. Even some of my family that I rarely see came down to celebrate with me. It meant more to me than any of them realized.
I started this program is such a different place but after two years of emotions deeper and more real than I have ever felt before I came out of it surrounded by family and friends, true friends. I came out of it more myself than I ever realized I could be. I did more to be myself, more to be real, more to grow myself, challenge myself, strengthen myself than I have ever done before. And all of that was now being confirmed through all those people sitting around this table.
I still have many challenges to get me where I want to be. I am still looking for the love of my life, still looking for a career to begin but I am confident that these parts of my life will come. In the meantime I have a job that covers the bills, I have many dating interests that may lead to something more, but most importantly no matter where life will take me now, no matter what challenges may come my way now I know I am prepared for them, I am ready to take on whatever life throws my way and no matter what happens and no matter where I end up I know that I have the best friends and the best family that one could have.
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