This past Saturday I drove down to Tampa. I spent the night before at a friends house, then got to Tampa and realized I didn't have all of what I needed. Will though came through and came out to where I was, with breakfast in hand, and went and printed off all the papers I needed.
Back here in Orlando one of my good friends and next door neighbors David is about to move away. He is concerned about the rudeness of the people in the city he is moving to. We had a long conversation about how rude people both in the where he plans to move and in his opinion here in Orlando. Orlando has been ranked one of the rudest cities in the nation. The worlds largest smiley face that Thomas and I participated in was one of the efforts to curb this rude streak.
I had never really thought about this city being rude. David though told a story about his aunt from Atlanta and how people were so surprised with her outgoing kind attitude. I think I'm a pretty kind person and it does seem that many people are pleasantly surprised by this. I though lately have begun slipping into the arrogance that comes with living in any that has opportunities that the average place doesn't have. Also its hard to not get a little jaded by the large amounts of tourist that seem to come to Florida yet leave all their manners and common sense at home. Anyone trapped on vacation with screaming kids, hours of lines a day in the hot sun, and theme parks that seem to take every last penny you've ever worked for would be a little tense but the amount rude people who come here on vacation still amazes me even though I've lived here my whole life.
These tourist of course rub off on the workers and soon whole areas become angry as though its an infection spreading through the population. It's not all tourist fault though, part of it is people who move here from other places who just don't understand how to be hospitable and people from here who have gained a certain hatred for the region due to being overshadowed by a mouse and his companions.
I say all this to say that my friend, while nice enough to let me stay there, just didn't deliver the level of hospitality that I would have given someone staying with me. No offer of pillows, of food or drink, and he even just went to bed with no warning or announcement of his intentions. I was a little upset by all this but let it go because I know that I have high levels of hospitality that others seem to not have. I think this is in part due to my being raised in the South, now I by no means recognize Central Florida as part of the South (the joke in Florida is that we are so south you're no longer in the south!) but my grandparents on both were from Kentucky and most of my extended family now live in Kentucky or Georgia. Here in Florida, where my mother and I both grew up, the southern level of hospitality is alive in a different fashion. Living in Central Florida means that you are the relative people stay with when they visit Disney World. This means while growing up we always had a constant stream of relatives staying with us and my parents always made sure they were comfortable. Most everyone I know in Florida who owns their own house has entire bedroom set aside for this constant stream of guests. I live in a tiny apartment yet still have a closet devoted to the quilts, bathroom supplies, and even a drawer full of maps and brochures for when guest crash on our couch. Its just part of the deal of living in a vacation mecca.
I, of course, would never say anything because he is the host and he has every right to host however he sees fit, its just that we have two very levels of what a proper friend and host does. I am the type of person who will go out of my way for even an acquaintance, I've offered my bed to guest before (including him) and have slept on the couch myself since some people can't sleep in such a loud room, I try to do everything within my means to be a good friend and host.
I don't expect others to have this same high level of hospitality but it does surprise me and sometime bother me a little when they don't only because I wonder why I give am as concerned about creating such a high level of comfort for them when they don't seem to return the favor. I grew reading Southern Living, watching Lynnete Jennings, Martha, Christopher Lowell and shows like Designing Women. These shows were more than just entertainment or designing, they were about how to have an inviting house and how to entertain guest. They included sections on proper attitudes and decor, plate settings and food selections, they taught me how to be the best host I could be, no matter what the budget. My grandmother was also a women who was very proper in some regards and always offered a plate of food when guests were over. Even as I child I loved the tea and sweets she had. I look forward to having the house were I can entertain, have tea on the front porch with guests, have the bedroom for relatives to stay in. I do this with no expectations of others to do the same but living in a place like Florida I just view as part of the culuture.
My friend who seemed to lack the understanding of what a good host does isn't from here. I've heard many people before say that the Florida culture is being lost due to the so many new people moving here. I do this see this happening, we now are infamous for angry drivers, unhappy employees, and high crime rates, but I still hold out hope that some of us, the locals, the natives, will keep the hospitality that caused people to want to visit here in the first place. I hope that we don't completely lose this and in fact we rub off on the new people moving in.
I don't view this hospitality as the right thing to do I view is as part of my culture, part of my Florida heritage, and I hope its a part that stays for a long time come. I know I will do my part to show what true hospitality is and I hope others notice and do the same. I don't think its just a southern or Florida thing but true hospitality is something that is slowly dying in this country. I think the recent earthquake in Japan has showed us what a culture of hospitality and concern for others looks like. I hope that we, as Westerns, gain some manners, some awareness of others, some hospitality.
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